Only Circumcised Penises On Porno sites in Israel!


A logical outcome of the Knesset’s attempt to censor the Internet.

Closest illustration I could use and still get published! If you’re desperate to see the real thing, there’s a link at the bottom of the page!

According to a recent report in “The Times of Israel”, filed by Stuart Winer, a female member of the Israel Beitenu faction – a Ms Lia Shemtov- wants the Knesset to pass a law that would block access to all pornographic and violent websites to Israeli’s. (1)

Of course , she can count on full support from all the religious parties, and from some others, who believe that they know, better than we do, what’s good for us.

Frankly, I am outraged than anyone would dare to try to determine what I, as an adult, can or cannot watch. Naturally, the fig leaf for the proposed legislation is “the protection of  the young and innocent”.  Apart from the fact that the young are no longer as innocent as their parents would wish to believe, the question arises as to whether adults are obliged to stop developing at age 12.

English: This is the american Disney Channel l...

This is a sexual as it gets – if the Knesset has its way!…….. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I assume that the lawmakers, that support this proposal, would prefer that the default setting for internet entertainment be the Disney Channel, or its equivalent.

The fact is that parental censorship is already available.  Programmes exist which can filter out, so called, “adult content”and parents can choose to activate them.

That’s the whole point.

It’s the parents that make the decision, not some government created quango comprising of people with a different world view from mine – or, indeed,  that of the parents

What the new law is supposed to do is to reverse the default setting of your Internet access. In other words, ALL sites – deemed by this group of censors to be “adult” would be available on special request only. The question of the extra costs involved in such an arrangement does not concern our MK’s.

English: Official portrait of Justice Potter S...

Justice Potter Stewart. _ “I know it when I see It!”………  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And then there is the age old question: “what is pornography?” Is it still the standard defined by Justice Potter Stewart in 1964 in America: “I can’t define pornography, but I know it when I see it”? (2)

I think the world has moved on over the past 50 years.

There are countless scenes of sex and violence in “mainstream movies” which would have been unthinkable just a generation ago. Famous film stars engage in the most extreme simulated erotica, which many argue is even more arousing than standard “pumping in and out” porn. And if we’re talking about children’s awareness of these scenes, they don’t have to go to the cinema; they just need to scan the TV movie channels!

So, will the censorship also be extended to TV ? Illogical if it isn’t!

When I made my views known on some web forums, I was accused of “encouraging paedophillia”.

There is absolutely no concrete evidence that viewing acts on TV or the Internet has a direct connection to the implementation of similar acts against third parties.(3)

Indeed, there are some that claim that the tiny fraction of viewers – or should that be “voyeurs” – who are psychologically unbalanced in relation to their sexual proclivities, can actually live out their fantasies through these media, and thus have no absolute need to manifest those desires physically. I think that is especially true for paedophiles.

A May 8 ruling by the New York Court of Appeals held that viewing child pornography on the Internet without taking further action such as printing or saving files does not necessarily constitute possession (of pornographic paedophillic imagery) (4)

So, what does all this have to do with Israel?  Well, for a country that prides itself on its openness and liberalism, to talk about censorship restrictions on anything,  is to place it squarely in the same category as its neighbours in the region, whose relative lack of freedoms it never ceases to criticise.

This proposed censorship is but the thin end of a very dangerous wedge. How Israel Beitenu managed to get into bed with Shas (so to speak) is incomprehensible. What will be next? After the banning of porn and violence, will the Haredi dress code for women be mandatory for all productions – no visible skin, apart from the face – under a wig, or headscarf, of course.

Censorship is a slippery slope. Everyone knows where it starts. No one knows where it ends!

And if there will be porno sites available on request – will the male performers need to be circumcised?

Why not?

Andyboy – Telling it as it is!

(Full disclosure)

I, myself was accused (together with 1199 other Israelis) of engaging in a sexual orgy of sin and debauchery -reminiscent of the worst excesses of Sodom and Gomorrah – when I participated, last September,  in the famous (or is that infamous) event known as “Naked Dead Sea”.

This, you may recall, was the brainchild of the well known American artist, Spencer Tunick, in which 1200 Israelis volunteered to pose completely naked for a serious of photographs, in order to promote the Dead Sea in its bid to be classified as one of the seven wonders of the modern world.

I can honestly state that it was a truly amazing experience, but if anyone believes that 1200 naked, perspiring Israelis in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, with an an equally wide variety of dangling bits, had any connection to sex, then they are in need of serious help! (5)

References

(1)http://www.timesofisrael.com/knesset-to-consider-pornography-censorship-law

(2) http://library.findlaw.com/2003/May/15/132747.html

(3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_between_child_pornography_and_child_sexual_abuse

(4) http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47437950/ns/technology_and_science-security/t/bill-criminalizing-viewing-child-porn-online-okd-ny-senate/#.T75tWtWP-s8possession.

(5)http://andyboy1.com/2011/09/20/naked-in-the-holy-land-part-three/

Banana Image:   parenthub.com.au

Rabbi Tells Doctors “Don’t Treat Non-Jews on the Sabbath!”


Rabbi Ovadia Yosef

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef  – if you’re sick on Shabbat – you need to be Jewish!  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef has excelled himself this time

Just when you thought that it would be impossible for him to come up with sayings more idiotic than those he previously uttered, he surprises you with something new.

According to a report in YNET  the “learned”rabbi came up with this gem:

“the spiritual leader of Shas said that while doctors are expected to do everything in their power – even if it requires violating the Sabbath – in order to save Jews whose lives are in danger, the same does not apply for gentiles.”

Of course, this places religious doctors in a real dilemma. A conflict between their Hippocratic oath and Halacha (Jewish religious law). And then, there is their contract with the state:

” The doctors’ license says they must treat all patients without distinction of faith or race, and if they don’t, the State could revoke their license and also punish them” 

Apart from any other considerations, the mere fact that anyone, especially a rabbi, can think and utter such thoughts, is a Public Relations disaster of the highest magnitude for the State of Israel . That this is his opinion, and his alone, gets lost in the media coverage. Israel’s enemies, of which there are many, seize on anything that can cast the state in a bad light.

It’s difficult to imagine anything much worse than this.

The horror of the vast majority of Israeli society to such thoughts is no different from that in the rest of the civilised world. But it would be an uphill struggle to try to get this fact across.

Man’s inhumanity to man is well documented in history, on both small and large scales. It does not need the added stimulus of religious interpretation and edict to make a bad situation even worse. Religion has been responsible for enough tragedy; and now it seems that the spark of religious intolerance continues to glow brightly in the mind of this nonagenarian.

There is, however, a postscript to this story.

Yosef, in an effort to ameliorate the severity of such a ruling, did propose a solution: “ The rabbi offered a halachic solution that follows a rule by which if a single person is doing the act, he is violating the Sabbath, while if two people are doing it together, they are exempt.”

Image of a surgeon operating on a patient. فار...

Two hands are better than one – but at the SAME time?…. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“The doctor who needs to operate will call on another doctor, or nurse, to hold the scalpel together and make the incision,” said Rabbi Yosef, saying that “it is necessary in order for religious physicians to refrain from being put on trial for distinguishing between a Jew and a gentile on Sabbath.”

Maybe he should just stick to religion.

His knowledge of medical procedures leaves a lot to be desired.

Andyboy – Telling it as it is!

Reference

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4229767,00.html

Related articles

http://andyboy1.com/2011/11/22/rabbi-ovadia-yosef-from-his-mouth-to-gods-ears/

http://andyboy1.com/2012/01/20/snatching-defeat-from-the-jaws-of-victory/

 


“God – It’s Andyboy. How Do You Deal With Claustrophobic Sinners?”


Confessional box, Holy Family Roman Catholic C...

Honestly, God, would you like to be stuck inside one of these? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I think you need to open a Facebook page, or a Twitter account.

Mark Zuckerberg, Founder & CEO of Facebook, at...

Zuckerberg – maybe you could use his help,,,,,,,, (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It may have escaped your attention, considering all the other things that are occupying your time, but we are living in the second decade of the 21st century. You need to catch up with the technology.

The reason that I am saying this is that, over the past couple of weeks, I have availed myself of the confessional service that you provide through some of your messengers.

In case they didn’t report back to you – I’m not sure that they ever do – I will tell you that I got into hot water over some remarks I made about the religious leaders of your Chosen People“, and, also, about the leaders of your not so chosen people ( the Muslims).  At least, I assume they are not so chosen, based upon their attitudes and actions. I must admit that, as a fully practicing Atheist, I have some difficulty in understanding if Jehovah and Allah are actually the same. Are they both you, or is it a family business, and you’re just related?

Anyway, that is not really the issue now.

The point is that, as I simply didn’t have the time to wait for the Day of Atonement to come round in 5 months or so, I thought I would try out the service offered by the competition. It seemed that “absolution on demand’ would be the easiest solution to my problem.

Being new to this game, I was not really prepared for the fact that it would involve me entering a dark, un-ventilated and somewhat smelly wooden box carrying the residual odours of the previous occupants. It seemed to me to be somewhat lacking in the sense of spiritual serenity I had anticipated. But then, I asked myself, “why should I expect 5 star luxury in a space reserved for sinners?”

Then it occurred to me, how do you deal with claustrophobic sinners?  

Is leaving the door open, or not drawing the curtain, sufficient? And what about privacy? Or is it that those suffering from this condition are just stuck with their sins forever, as if you didn’t give them enough of a problem anyway?

So I got to thinking, about applying some 21st century technology? Maybe you could create a Facebook page, or a Twitter account, or, even, an Internet Website.  And this would solve the problem, not only for those fearing confined spaces, but, also, for those who don’t want to leave the comfort of their home to deal with something about which they feel uncomfortable in any case.

Image representing iPhone as depicted in Crunc...

How about an APP for sinners?…….Image via CrunchBase

You could even create an i-Phone or Android Application! Absolution with a swipe of the finger! You could call it “an App for sinners”, and it could get you a lot more clients.

I assume that you would not be deterred by the fact that you would have to use the services created by Jews like Zuckerberg and Brinn. They are working with a primarily non-Jewish market already, so it shouldn’t put you off. By the way, now could be a good time to get connected to Facebook. If you’re quick, you may even be able to get a piece of he action. I’m sure you could pull a few strings, and your messengers on Earth could always use a few extra bucks.

So, give it thought, and let me know your conclusion. You can always find me at the URL above.

I will assume that if I don’t hear from you, it will be confirmation that you don’t actually exist.

Either that, or you simply prefer to stick with the traditional system, and to hell with claustrophobes.

Literally!

Andyboy – Telling it as it is.

Connected articles

http://andyboy1.com/2012/04/21/forgive-me-father-for-i-have-sinned/

http://andyboy1.com/2012/05/05/sorry-father-but-i-have-sinned-again/

“Sorry, Father – But I have Sinned Again!”


I know it’s only two weeks since my last confession

But it seems that the effects of your instant absolution deal are not long lasting.

A Confessional box built in 1952 in Immaculate...

“Father – I’M IN HERE!” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You may recall that my previous confession was also my first attempt at confessing, after I decided that I couldn’t wait until the next Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement). I really don’t understand how the inventors of Judaism ever imagined that people could hoard their sins for an entire year – and then release all of them inside a day.

A fundamental design fault!

So,I thought your ” forgiveness on demand” was a much better idea, and more in line with modern day needs.

But, here I am, back again. Well, to be fair to the system, I’m not confessing to the same sins. Last time it was the Jews, but now I am accused of being beastly to the Muslims.

You must understand that for an Atheist, like me, the world is like a battlefield:

Religions to the left of me,

Religions to the right of me,

Religions in front of me,

And still I blunder on regardless

(with due apologies to Alfred, Lord Tennyson).

So, what are my sins?

Well, for a start, they got a bit upset that I took issue with their desire to execute those who they considered had said naughty things about Allah, or his lackey, Mohammed. I had pointed out in a previous article that blasphemy was still  a capital offence in some Muslim states.

Kuwait Elections_DSC3387

“So, you think Allah will be happy with us?”
“What, you mean because we are now the laughing stock of the civilised world?” (Photo credit: Kuwaitelections2012)

A few days after publication, the National Assembly of Kuwait, as if in a gesture of defiance, passed a law which not only demands execution for insulting Allah and Mohammed, but also extends to saying unkind things about the various Mrs Mohammeds:

“The law also prescribes the death penalty for those who curse the Prophet’s wives or claim prophetic abilities.

Today, we lead the world through this law,” MP Faysal Al-Muslim told Kuwaiti establishment daily Al-Watan. “It is a triumph for the Prophet to execute those who harm him and his wives, and especially Aisha the pure. Cursing them shames us all.”

Endowments Minister Jamal Shihab told Al-Watan that the government does not intend to block the law, and will act to implement it.” (1)

I think that they also got a bit upset that this article followed so closely on the heels of another article, in which I intimated that proposed legislation in the Egyptian parliament – to legalise intercourse after death – seemed a little out of synch with the general thrust of world opinion (pun intended).

But, to be fair to the Egyptians, they did understand that there would have to be practical limits applied to this law, so intercourse with the “Dear Departed” would be limited to a period of not longer than 6 hours after death.

Apart from my reaction, the internet comedians could not let such a gem of a story pass without comment. Consequently, the blogosphere became saturated with hundreds of tasteless jokes, from which I selected and reprinted my favourite “Top Twenty”.

These included:

“gives new meaning to the word frigid”.

“my wife has been “dead” in bed for years. but at least she still cooks”.

“If they’re anything like my ex-wife, you wouldn’t notice the difference”

For the full list, just click on the link below(2)

For reasons that totally escape me, some Muslims thought I was treating the subject without due reverence. For a society that follows the practice of female genital mutilation  – meaning surgical removal of the clitoris – to ensure that a woman couldn’t enjoy sex to the full when she was alive, I thought that their concern for her body after death was somewhat bizarre.

I realise that, as a Catholic priest, you haven’t the faintest idea why a woman needs a clitoris at all: I suggest a quiet word with a few nuns could enlighten you in that department. Given their situation, I don’t know what they would do without one, but that’s a whole different subject.

So, there you have it.

Jews one week, Muslims the next, and I haven’t really got around to Christianity yet. But, I guess you’re not the best person to deal with that.

A hindu holy man in Kathmandu, Nepal. He seems...

Maybe him? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you know of a good Hindu confessor?

Andyboy – Telling it as it is!

References

(1)http://www.timesofisrael.com/kuwaiti-parliament-legislates-death-sentence-for-cursing-the-prophet-muhammad/

(2)http://andyboy1.com/2012/04/27/islam-sex-before-marriage-no-way-sex-after-death-maybe/

 

The Amir Brothers – Heroes or Villains?


The answer to that question is very much in the eye of the beholder.

Isolation - D Block

Isolation cell – for over sixteen years! (Photo credit: Smath.)

With the release from prison of Haggai Amir, after sixteen and a half years of solitary confinement, the controversy over his actions, and those of his brother, Yigal, who was convicted of firing the shots that fatally wounded Yitzhak Rabin, has erupted again.

Most of the demonstrators protesting his release were children when the shooting occurred and have no direct knowledge of the circumstances. And, as far as the older protesters are concerned, everyone has an agenda.

It is certainly not politically correct to even try to understand what caused the brothers to act as they did, far less to attempt to justify their actions.

But, in order to start on the path of understanding, we need to examine the very structure of a democracy, and how it is supposed to function. In fact, there are multiple forms of democracy – and some are more democratic than others.

For example, The UK with its ” first past the post” electoral system, and only two major political parties, can lead to a situation is which the Prime Minister can find himself (or, indeed, herself) with such an overwhelming parliamentary majority that the government can pass any legislation it chooses without limitation.

Not so different from a dictatorship, in practical terms.

In America the situation is similar, but not identical. There are still only two major parties, but the differences between them are less than those in the UK. A combination of mid-term elections and a complicated machinery of checks and balances, tends to inhibit even the strongest President.

So one would imagine that Israel, with its proportional representation system, would guarantee that a dictatorial type Prime Minister simply could not exist. The permanent requirement for a coalition government would inhibit the total freedom of action of any Prime Minister.

Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, U.S. pre...

A truly fateful handshake….. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And so it was for Yitzhak Rabin when he was trying to persuade the Knesset to approve the agreement, known as the “Oslo Accords”.  The tortuous manner in which the agreement was secretly negotiated needs an article in itself. Suffice to say that Rabin, although initially opposed to the agreement, was eventually persuaded to accept it. The Americans, who were disturbed that they had not been party to the negotiations, eventually stopped sulking and put their support behind the accords.

Rabin’s problem was that he had to “sell” the whole concept not only to the Knesset, but also to the Israeli public and, of course, the media.  The media, with its inherent left wing slant was, more or less, a pushover. The public was very divided, and the media had to work overtime to present the situation as if the the majority were in favour.

Those Israeli citizens already living in Judea, Samaria and Gaza were, obviously, very vociferous in their objections. Their protests really got to Rabin, who was known to have a short temper when his authority was questioned. His widely reported remark that these protesters could ” spin like propellers” as far as he was concerned, and would not cause him to deviate from the course he was on, did nothing to improve his image with the general public.

And when it came to the fateful vote in the Knesset, which was actually a motion of no confidence in the government, he only succeeded in obtaining 61 votes out of a possible 120 – a majority of 1! There were 50 votes in favour of the motion, and 9 abstentions.

The manipulative manner in which he was able to secure 2 crucial votes from a tiny party that had splintered away from the Tsomet faction, gave rise to perceptions and accusations of bribery, which he ignored.   Many people were also incensed that the accords required Israel to relinquish almost all of the territory it had acquired in the 1967 war, with the Jerusalem question still unresolved, and that the 61 votes had included 5 votes from the Arab parties.

It may be understood that, as far as the general population was concerned, the combination of bought votes and Arab votes needed to achieve the single vote majority, removed any vestiges of legitimacy from the final decision.

Which brings me back to my previous point of defining a democracy. When the electorate feel betrayed, the next time that they can participate in an election can seem to them to be too far into the future. The possibility that the sense of frustration can become too strong to contain then arises.

It is true that we have all become cynical of politicians and their promises. Most broken pledges are simply greeted with a sense of resignation and a mental note of who to vote for next time.

Ariel Sharon 2001-03-19

Ariel Sharon – got away with Gaza…. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But some situations are simply too egregious to accept meekly. Rabin’s way of dealing with the Oslo Accords was one such act. Ariel Sharon got away with the evacuation of Gaza by the skin of his teeth. Had other circumstance not intervened, it is highly possible that any attempt by him to remove Jews from Judea and Samaria would have resulted in him meeting a similar fate.

Before anyone accuses me of trying to defend the indefensible, I must point out that throwing up the word ” democracy” is really usurping the concept to cover for, essentially, undemocratic acts; Rabin’s machinations to secure votes were widely criticised at the time.

I know the arguments about the imperfections of democracy, and that it’s still better than any other political system. But, when it comes to situations that could be interpreted as existential threats to the state, maybe the cloak of democracy is simply not a sufficient protection.

And, it is in such circumstances, that some people feel driven to take action.

Political assassination is a risk that all leaders take. Their ability to steer a course that does not lead to a sense of impotent rage by some part of the electorate is a measure of their success.

Failure in this essential element of leadership can have dire consequences.

It did for Yitzhak Rabin.

Andyboy – Telling it as it is!